I’m Okay, I’m Not Okay

Jan 1, 2022

I love new beginnings. Today, we celebrate a new year with hope for less tragedy, less suffering, less loss. New Year’s Days fill us with expectation to do better and be better. The possibilities are endless. Yes, this will be our year!!!

As I wrote that, my mind wondered, “But what if it’s not?” 

During the past year I have had five major surgeries and have been mostly on crutches or using a cane since May 4th. Pain has become an unwanted companion never leaving my side. 

“Will I be okay if this year is unchanged?” I ponder. “Do I need to make a new year resolution to be okay if I’m not okay?” 

Having failed at new year resolutions so often in the past, I stopped making them. However, as I am writing, I thought of composing a resolution to be okay. 

“Wow, that is surely setting myself up for failure.” I laugh to myself. “I’m not okay right now and we are only into the first 24 hours of 2022!” 

I reflect on this truth and realize that I was due for a hard reset. However, knowing myself, rather than set myself up for the slow fade of my old new year resolutions, I am choosing to only have one.

Today, I choose to be as okay as I can and thankful for whatever amount that is. Tomorrow will be a new year too. In fact, each of the next 365 days are new year days and can be filled with new hopes, new resolves, and new grace. 

I pray that as you consider your new year that you give yourself grace and acceptance no matter what you resolved for today. I pray that for myself as well. 



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